HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BIRD?
Police are on the search for the above creature to assist in investigations on a cheating case involving the use of a stolen credit card to buy two bottles of Veri Gui Cod Liver Oil with Banana Juice in Sunny Yellow Colour and added Omega 3.
The bird is described to be in its late twenties, slim and 1.53 cm tall, weighing 67.984 grams with a moment of 18 Newton-metres when placed on a birch wood balancing scale with a width of 3.77 cm and a length of 15cm with a 500 gram weight at the other end. When pushed feet first against a marbled floor, the pressure exterted by the bird is at an estimated 45 Pascals. Measuring tools to determine the above may be purchased at a 20% discount from Smarty-Pants General All-Purpose Specialist Bookstore.
Anyone with information on the bird's identity, bodily measurements, eating habits, allergies, crushes, dislikes, number of armpit hairs, past relationships, number of peanuts consumed so far, number of feathers and whereabouts may call the police hotline at 1800-XXX-XXX.
Thank you for your cooperation and your participation in this investigation. Your identity will be kept strictly, positively and temporarily confidential.
JUST KIDDING!
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