Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

SINGAPORE - The annual Golden Mole Beauty Pageant was held last Friday, with a total of erm, 2 contestants. (The rest died of heart attack, details in the later paragraphs.)

This two contestants, aged -15 and 30, outshoned the others with their extreme beauty, others cannot help but just stare blankly in awe. According to the disqualified contestants, there was a stand-by first aid team as these two contestants were simply too beautiful that the authorities were afraid that a crowd would gathered and put their lifes in danger.

Contestant #01
Name: SMUG
Age: -15 years old
Sex: Female
Sex appeal: 100
Talents: Ballet dancing in bathsuits

SMUG, otherwise known as the Slim, Magical and Underweight Goddess, stands out from the crowd with her elegance aura. In the Ballet Round, she topped with a score of 99.9/100. The difference of o.1 mark was a result wearing bathing suit to dance. Ironically, this is also considered to be one of her strengths. However, her age is still a myth as the authorities are currently looking into her background.

Contestant #02
Name: Niu Niu
Age: 30 years old
Sex: Mutant
Sex appeal: -100
Talents: Worshipping Korean Stars, namely CSW and L

You can spot Niu Niu right away from a crowd, not because she is exceptionally tall, but because she has the head of a human, but the body of a cello. That would explain why her sex appeal is a negative index.

After what seem like an eternity later, the judges finally came up with a winner of The Golden Mole Beauty Pageant, at the expense of their appreciation of beauty. It was a heart-wrenching moment in the stadium, everyone held their breaths and waited for the announcement of results.

The beauty queen of 1st The Golden Mole Beauty Pageant turned out to be LYL, a previously disqualified contestant. It happened that SMUG and Niu Niu are one individual who registered twice to secure higher chances of winning. She/They were disqualified from the pageant one minute before the announcer-cum-ex-contestant declared herself the winner.

As reported by Assie Butty Toad.